Dear Co-Worker

Dear Co-Worker,
  Thats a real dick move. Don't you respect the fact that I ran this morning. :humph:

"Zoom-Out"

Gateway International Raceway, just down the street from the beautiful city of St. Louis. My new job as a sales and technical rep. has given my the opportunity to travel the circuit, hone my skills as a brake specialist and most importantly zoom-out from the race car and just look around.

My weekend in St. Louis was great. It was fantastic to be back in the garage with all of the Harrys. But this weekend was different for me. I got to "zoom-out" and look around at what we all get to do for a living. I spent a lot of time just taking it all in. Most of my time was spent on pit road, monitoring brake temperatures. I caught myself in a daze. I stood and watched the cars scream off turn four. I have been doing this for eight years now and it all seemed new to me. Its exciting. Its breath-taking. I am in love with the sport again.

When final practice concluded I picked my things up and headed back to the garage. As I walked past the infield fence there was a little girl with her Dad, she was probably 10 years old. She looked at me and gave me a shy wave. Emotions rushed through my chest. I waved back and gave her a smile. I hope that she was thinking the same thinking that I was thinking15 years ago, "Girls do this? Can I do this? Dad, Can I do this?" For all I know, she probably thought I was Danica Patrick (just 2 feet taller, and 30lbs heavier)



Dover, 2009



The time I spent away from my career as a mechanic may have been the best learning experience of my life. I had grown spoiled. My transition into the world of NASCAR was not a hard fought battle. Everything kind of just came to me. Fast forward eight years later and I was a bitching, angry, nothings fair, no one knows what they are doing, mechanic. I didn't even realize it at the time. I was writing a blog about the sport that I said I loved and then bitching about it.

I believe as mechanics we get tunnel vision. The long stretch of race weekends run together and the romanticism of the sport we once loved, begins to wear thin. Sadly, we begin to just go through the motions: tech, practice, qualify, load-up, go home. Everything seems to zoom in. The love for the sport fades fast, frustrations run high and then it's "on to the next one."

For the past two months I have been on the outside looking in, begging for an opportunity to get back on the other side of the fence. I remember now why I love it. And I also know why I began to hate it. It is safe to say that my career and I took a break from one another. During that break I realized that I love this life, I love the stress, I love my career. I just need to take more time to "Zoom-Out"

Starbucks Snob

Everything about this new job is different. Including where I buy my coffee. I like my coffee "black". No sugar No cream No BS. And as far as plain coffee goes, I believe Starbuck's is horrid.

Sure they have the Mochas and Frapps all figured out but when it comes to the simple basics..They have missed it. However, I am a McCafe Girl! Well.. I was. Until my McCafe cup seemed to render the same "uncool" affects as my neon pink headgear from Junior Highscool.

Starbucks is simply a fashion accessory. You can't go waltzin into the office in your JCrew and Jimmy Choos with a McCafe cup. :der: So to keep up with all of the pencil skirts at work I have begun sporting the ubersheek Starbucks Cup. I have slowly gotten used to the bitter aftertaste of the coffee tycoon. However, they do make wonderful breakfast!

The AP Organization endorces the Starbuck's egg white, feta cheese and spinach wrap. It is a slice of heaven during my 6am, hour-long, trek into work. Starbucks has won me over with their splendid breakfast wrap. The coffee is "meh" the wrap is "nomnomnom". Try it out!

My New Gear!

Lacking Super Powers

It's a little past midnight on a cold, October night. The setting felt and looked like something out of a horror flick. The misting rain began picking up tempo. Thick, milky fog was beginning to set in. I starred at the reflection of the blue flashing lights on the hood of my car. Off. On. Off. On. Click. Click. Click. Click. My leg was shaking with angst. Sitting. Waiting. I am horrible at waiting. I slam the throttle to the floor boards, dump the clutch, the car leaps out of the grass and slides sideways as the tires try to grip the wet asphalt of the back country road. I hear the sirens and the loud squeal of friction. Quickly, I reached 70mph and with both feet I stomped on the brake pedal the car fish tailed and slid sideways again. The brake dust and smoke from the rubber drift past the front of the Crown Victoria police car. :exhale: Everything grew silent again. "Cut" was the word that buzzed through my ear piece. He walks up and leans into my window, "That was perfect. Got it in the first-take. Good job driver." I stuff back my anxiousness and give him the typical "know-it-all" smirk. (That smirk is a trademark of mine. Typically, it gets me into more trouble than good.) Deep down I was relieved. That was five years ago this week. It was my first day on the job as a stunt driver. As I look back at it now I remember it being so fun, intense and performance driven. But sadly, at the time, I wasn't enjoying it. I was frustrated. Ever since I first moved to Charlotte I have had a plan, become a crew chief. That plan seems to get sidelined all too often. I have had some really cool things come across my plate, such as stunt driving, but I never allowed myself to enjoy them. It always felt like I was cheating on my dream. I was having fun but I was wasting valuable time.

And as it turns out, females who actually enjoy wrecking vehicles are hard to find in Hollywood. (Let’s just say I had plenty of practice when I was racing, I am rather numb to the drama of it all at this point) Any who, I was given a pretty neat opportunity to move to California and pursue my career as a stunt woman but I turned it down. In end it wasn’t what I wanted. I landed a few gigs, got my SAG card and never went back. I regret never taking the moment in and enjoying it.

I find myself here again. I have accepted a really interesting job at a brake company where I have the opportunity to design, engineer, maintain and sell high performance braking systems to the race teams. I get to travel to the race track and do technical support which fills my weekends with travel again rather than yard work. Conveniently, working on brakes is my favorite thing to do as a mechanic. And now I am being given the opportunity to learn and truly be a brake specialist. And just like five years ago, in the back of my mind, I am frustrated. I have no idea how this detour is going to help me pursue my dream. I am still hoping that being a crew chief is somewhere on the blueprint for AP. I wasn't gifted with the ability to see the future. Outside of the super power of being invisible, the ability to know the future would be my second choice. I have awesome memories of my days as a stunt driver and somehow, some way I ended up as a car chief four years later. I wish I could have told myself, “Enjoy this. Stop worrying. It will all work out.”

How I will get back on my breadcrumbs path to success I have no idea but this time I am going to enjoy the here and now and make the most of my opportunities.